A Valentines Day Story - Who Stole My Hugs, Kisses and Smile?

Warning: This might not be your typical valentine story and I want to tell it to you whoever you are if you find this post. This will not enclose in any detail or names because I still value my privacy. It's all about me and perhaps the only woman I have loved the most, who took the smile, the kisses and the hug-loving person in me this Valentine.

Di gaya ng mga fairytales or valentine stories na makikita at mapapanood nyo sa teevee, ito ang valentine story ko. Ako lang at wala ng iba pang maaring umako ng mga kalungkutang ito sa araw ng Valentine.

OO aaminin ko, marami ng ibang tinangka kong mahalin marahil dahil sa marami talagang bagay ang gusto kong masubukan at malaman tungkol sa pag ibig. 38 years old na ko pero hindi ko alam kung bakit ang tingin nila sa akin sa office man o sa school ng baby ko ako ay 23 and sometimes 26 lang daw. Minsan sabi nila bagets daw ang tatay ng baby ko. Anyway, hindi naman importante ito ang importante ay kaya siguro ako nagmumukhang bata ay dahil ako yung tao na napaka hilig sa halik, yakap at ngiti.

Nakagaisnan na nga ng anak ko na sa umaga paggising kailangan may kiss, may hug and may smile. Sa loob ng bahay hindi pwede ang nakasimangot. Ilang ulit na namin napag awayan yan ng wife ko. Hindi kasi sya yung tipo ng tao who likes to smile and greet people with a smile.

Inaamin ko many times at napakarami na ng pinag awayan namin ng wife ko at kasama na din dyan ang ibang mga kalokohan ko pero sa totoo lang, wala akong alam na masama kong ginawa sa kanya except siguro yung sobra kong minahal sya.

Hindi ako mayaman pero nakaaangat naman ang pamilya namin sa buhay. Wala man akong maraming pera na kayang ibigay sa kanya ay wala naman syang hahanapin pa sa pagmamahal ko sa kanya. Sya kasi para sa aking ang soulmate ko. Wala na syang magulang na nagaalaga at halos walang nag-iisip sa kanya kaya ng matagpuan ko sya sabi ko, ito na ang pakakasalan kong babae. Yun nga sya na nga.

Hindi ko sya iniwan kahit anong mangyari at hindi ko sya inalis sa isip ko. Marami na din akong naging pagkakamali pero sya ang pinili ko. Wala akong inisip kundi sya, sya sya at ang anak ko na napaka precious para sa akin. Ewan ko ba?

Oo marami na kaming pinagdaanan gaya ng ibang mag-asawa pero ito na yata ang pinaka malungkot na valentine ko. Bakit? E anong paki nyo, basahin nyo na lang kung gusto nyo malaman. At yun ay kung malalaman nyo.

Lately dami kaming pinagtalunan. Di ko maisip kung bakit ganun. Siguro kung minsan lang talaga ang mga babae kailangan ng lambing. Pero and ikinasasama ng loob ko bakit naman kailangan sa ganong paraan pa? Mali kayo, wala syang iba, alam ko yon. Kaya nga sabi ko sa inyo hindi ito yung tipo ng Valentine Story na gusto nyong basahin para mainspire kayo at mapilitang mainlove. Wala akong pakialam!

Ok sige, may mga naging problema kami (hindi ko ididisclose) ilang ulit na to pero recurrent. Yun at yun. Selos to pero hindi dahil may iba sya or may iba ako. Hindi na ako umaalis ng bahay kasi nag resign na ko sa work ko just to be with her and my daughter full time.

I gave up everything to show her how I love my family and in my case, sya lang at ang baby ko. 14 years old na sya at sobrang ganda at sobrang talino and multi-talented. My daughter is very precious to me at lahat ay gagawin ko for her and my wife, even give up a career.

Pero parang I made the biggest mistake in my life. The worst decision in my life. Yung problema, yun na naman. To the nth time na. Recurrent talaga. Nakaksama na ng loob to the extent na I cannot describe anymore how I feel.

I must admit this is the first time I felt ng ganito kasi as I've said mapagmahal akong tao. I like hugs, kisses and smiles. Morning noon and night time yan. When they go in the morning to school, both of them have to kiss me even if I am asleep.

They are obliged to kiss me when they leave and arrive kahit gaano ako ka busy basta you have to kiss me. It's actually a houserule na. I usually show how cheerful I am when I cook food. I make designs, a few tweaks and a few extras just to make them smile. I must admit masarap ako magluto. Hindi ito parati pero most of the time.

Ngayon, Feb 14 na. Valentines na pero gaya ng sabi ko, she took the smile, the hugs and the kisses from me. Ayaw ko na ng kiss nya, Ayaw ko na ng hug nya and what's worse is ayaw ko na sya. Don't know basta alam ko nawala na ang magic.

I warned her. The last time na may ginawa sya na hindi ko nagustuhan noon I warned her na baka sa susunod hindi ko na sya matanggap. This could be my fault - for being too lovable, too understanding, too sweet, too easy to please, a lot of too's.

Today, Feb 14, I woke up, her hugging me. I'm surprised kasi this situation has happened before. Hindi ko na mabilang pero talagang pamilyar kasi sa dami na yata ng kasalanan nya sa akin. She is not the type who says sorry. Mataas ang pride kahit sya ang mali. I used to give in to her all the time but today, Feb 14, it's a lot different.

Hindi ko na kayang mag respond sa hug nya. This is is her way of saying sorry and I understand it kasi nga hindi sya laki sa magulang. Her mother died when she was still in an age where little girls need to grow in the hugs of a mother. Her father? No comment.

So yun na nga. Hindi na talaga ako nag yield in. I can still feel the strong hug that she gave me as a sign that she is sorry pero hindi ko alam kung bakit I didn't respond to it anymore. Siguro nagsawa na ko sa paulit ulit na kasalanan nya sa akin. Gising ako kahit kakaidlip ko lang ng 3 AM from writing in my other blogs and knowing that it's only 5 AM Feb 14 pero gising ako.

Bumangon na lang ako at eto nga decided to write this long nonsense (for you) Valentine story. I just need to. The urge is too strong to resist. I wanna go away today. Di ko alam pero gusto ko malayo. This is not the worst day in my life nor this is the worst Valentine I had but I must admit, this is the loneliest few hours I spent in front of my computer. 10 months na ko kaharap tong PC ko writing stuff of all sorts but this is the first time I did not make any research and was able to write straight coming from my head.

I used to smile a lot at home, I like her hugs even if they are rare as the species of the rarest kind and I like her kiss even if sometimes I feel like an idiot forcing her and reminding her that we have house rules. But today is the start of it all, the big change. I didn't feel anything had to be done despite her numerous tries to hug me and take my hand. I kept a gesture with my head turned back at her. I guess that head will never turn her way again. I don't know baka nagmamatigas lang ako pero one thing, hindi ako ganito. I've always yielded in to her.

Hindi ako sure, but one thing is, she took the smile, the kiss and the hug-loving person in me. I'll spend my Valentine's Day alone I guess even if she is just beside.