Warning: This might not be your typical valentine story and I want to tell it to you whoever you are if you find this post. This will not enclose in any detail or names because I still value my privacy. It's all about me and perhaps the only woman I have loved the most, who took the smile, the kisses and the hug-loving person in me this Valentine.
Di gaya ng mga fairytales or valentine stories na makikita at mapapanood nyo sa teevee, ito ang valentine story ko. Ako lang at wala ng iba pang maaring umako ng mga kalungkutang ito sa araw ng Valentine.
OO aaminin ko, marami ng ibang tinangka kong mahalin marahil dahil sa marami talagang bagay ang gusto kong masubukan at malaman tungkol sa pag ibig. 38 years old na ko pero hindi ko alam kung bakit ang tingin nila sa akin sa office man o sa school ng baby ko ako ay 23 and sometimes 26 lang daw. Minsan sabi nila bagets daw ang tatay ng baby ko. Anyway, hindi naman importante ito ang importante ay kaya siguro ako nagmumukhang bata ay dahil ako yung tao na napaka hilig sa halik, yakap at ngiti.
Nakagaisnan na nga ng anak ko na sa umaga paggising kailangan may kiss, may hug and may smile. Sa loob ng bahay hindi pwede ang nakasimangot. Ilang ulit na namin napag awayan yan ng wife ko. Hindi kasi sya yung tipo ng tao who likes to smile and greet people with a smile.
Inaamin ko many times at napakarami na ng pinag awayan namin ng wife ko at kasama na din dyan ang ibang mga kalokohan ko pero sa totoo lang, wala akong alam na masama kong ginawa sa kanya except siguro yung sobra kong minahal sya.
Hindi ako mayaman pero nakaaangat naman ang pamilya namin sa buhay. Wala man akong maraming pera na kayang ibigay sa kanya ay wala naman syang hahanapin pa sa pagmamahal ko sa kanya. Sya kasi para sa aking ang soulmate ko. Wala na syang magulang na nagaalaga at halos walang nag-iisip sa kanya kaya ng matagpuan ko sya sabi ko, ito na ang pakakasalan kong babae. Yun nga sya na nga.
Hindi ko sya iniwan kahit anong mangyari at hindi ko sya inalis sa isip ko. Marami na din akong naging pagkakamali pero sya ang pinili ko. Wala akong inisip kundi sya, sya sya at ang anak ko na napaka precious para sa akin. Ewan ko ba?
Oo marami na kaming pinagdaanan gaya ng ibang mag-asawa pero ito na yata ang pinaka malungkot na valentine ko. Bakit? E anong paki nyo, basahin nyo na lang kung gusto nyo malaman. At yun ay kung malalaman nyo.
Lately dami kaming pinagtalunan. Di ko maisip kung bakit ganun. Siguro kung minsan lang talaga ang mga babae kailangan ng lambing. Pero and ikinasasama ng loob ko bakit naman kailangan sa ganong paraan pa? Mali kayo, wala syang iba, alam ko yon. Kaya nga sabi ko sa inyo hindi ito yung tipo ng Valentine Story na gusto nyong basahin para mainspire kayo at mapilitang mainlove. Wala akong pakialam!
Ok sige, may mga naging problema kami (hindi ko ididisclose) ilang ulit na to pero recurrent. Yun at yun. Selos to pero hindi dahil may iba sya or may iba ako. Hindi na ako umaalis ng bahay kasi nag resign na ko sa work ko just to be with her and my daughter full time.
I gave up everything to show her how I love my family and in my case, sya lang at ang baby ko. 14 years old na sya at sobrang ganda at sobrang talino and multi-talented. My daughter is very precious to me at lahat ay gagawin ko for her and my wife, even give up a career.
Pero parang I made the biggest mistake in my life. The worst decision in my life. Yung problema, yun na naman. To the nth time na. Recurrent talaga. Nakaksama na ng loob to the extent na I cannot describe anymore how I feel.
I must admit this is the first time I felt ng ganito kasi as I've said mapagmahal akong tao. I like hugs, kisses and smiles. Morning noon and night time yan. When they go in the morning to school, both of them have to kiss me even if I am asleep.
They are obliged to kiss me when they leave and arrive kahit gaano ako ka busy basta you have to kiss me. It's actually a houserule na. I usually show how cheerful I am when I cook food. I make designs, a few tweaks and a few extras just to make them smile. I must admit masarap ako magluto. Hindi ito parati pero most of the time.
Ngayon, Feb 14 na. Valentines na pero gaya ng sabi ko, she took the smile, the hugs and the kisses from me. Ayaw ko na ng kiss nya, Ayaw ko na ng hug nya and what's worse is ayaw ko na sya. Don't know basta alam ko nawala na ang magic.
I warned her. The last time na may ginawa sya na hindi ko nagustuhan noon I warned her na baka sa susunod hindi ko na sya matanggap. This could be my fault - for being too lovable, too understanding, too sweet, too easy to please, a lot of too's.
Today, Feb 14, I woke up, her hugging me. I'm surprised kasi this situation has happened before. Hindi ko na mabilang pero talagang pamilyar kasi sa dami na yata ng kasalanan nya sa akin. She is not the type who says sorry. Mataas ang pride kahit sya ang mali. I used to give in to her all the time but today, Feb 14, it's a lot different.
Hindi ko na kayang mag respond sa hug nya. This is is her way of saying sorry and I understand it kasi nga hindi sya laki sa magulang. Her mother died when she was still in an age where little girls need to grow in the hugs of a mother. Her father? No comment.
So yun na nga. Hindi na talaga ako nag yield in. I can still feel the strong hug that she gave me as a sign that she is sorry pero hindi ko alam kung bakit I didn't respond to it anymore. Siguro nagsawa na ko sa paulit ulit na kasalanan nya sa akin. Gising ako kahit kakaidlip ko lang ng 3 AM from writing in my other blogs and knowing that it's only 5 AM Feb 14 pero gising ako.
Bumangon na lang ako at eto nga decided to write this long nonsense (for you) Valentine story. I just need to. The urge is too strong to resist. I wanna go away today. Di ko alam pero gusto ko malayo. This is not the worst day in my life nor this is the worst Valentine I had but I must admit, this is the loneliest few hours I spent in front of my computer. 10 months na ko kaharap tong PC ko writing stuff of all sorts but this is the first time I did not make any research and was able to write straight coming from my head.
I used to smile a lot at home, I like her hugs even if they are rare as the species of the rarest kind and I like her kiss even if sometimes I feel like an idiot forcing her and reminding her that we have house rules. But today is the start of it all, the big change. I didn't feel anything had to be done despite her numerous tries to hug me and take my hand. I kept a gesture with my head turned back at her. I guess that head will never turn her way again. I don't know baka nagmamatigas lang ako pero one thing, hindi ako ganito. I've always yielded in to her.
Hindi ako sure, but one thing is, she took the smile, the kiss and the hug-loving person in me. I'll spend my Valentine's Day alone I guess even if she is just beside.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Monday, February 2, 2009
Too Much Grief and Loneliness Can Really Cause You to Get Sick
At first I thought that I can and will only see it in the movies until I was able to experience it myself. What I am talking about is what this post tells about people who are in too much pain, grief or loneliness who get sick. In the movies, these people even die unexpectedly.
Today, I just saw it happen in real life and what's interesting is that I saw it in myself. It's been years since any of us three in the family had been sick. In fact I cannot even remember when it was and I am glad about that and thankful to God. Health has always been our most precious treasure and I am glad we live to it until something happened to me.
This incident made me feel really bad today. It made me feel I was not loved and I do not intend to burst it out here, just some warning to those who don't realize how important it is for a loved one to feel happy and loved and important.
I do not know what it is in me today because just the other day, my parents visited us here in our humble home, the three of us, me my daughter and my wife but since that day, nothing has ever been the same to me. Something changed the chemistry of my mood and my body. The other day, I felt very sad being take for granted, left and no one to talk to. My daughter is in school and my wife hasn't arrived yet.
I wanted to spare the time to fully talk it our with someone but not even my life partner is there. I felt really very sad. Sad that it was enough to cause me to go sick in a matter of hours. That night I drank a little brandy and slept smelling like a drunkard in the street. I didn't drink that much, just a few shots enough to make me sober and then right after I went to bad, I started to feel different.
That was when sickness is on its way and in the morning when I woke up, being able to sleep barely 3 hours only because of another incident caused by neighbors. In short, I got sick I almost feel like I wanted to lie in bed the whole day but no, I have to work. I'm not sure if the person responsible for this loneliness knows about it nor cares how I feel today. Beyond my sad face and sickly look nursing a cold that yesterday was miles away but today is here it seem to stay.
I know I could get over this but I am not sure when. I am talking about the sickness in my heart and not in my body. Tonight I am trying hard to fight it and how I wish it would all just go away. It's been too much yesterday and today, I'm not sure. I just feel sad, down and fallen. I kept myself on focus and did what I have to do to work and earn my back my pride that this loneliness seem to have killed and taken away in mudslide.
I'm not sure but all I know is that I will get over this but how is just another question. The very first few seconds that a person so happy all the time in me, people will never see a touch of smile, all angst in a questioning gesture of my face, why. I am always a happy man who loves to kiss in the cheek and loves to kiss and get kissed when someone I love leaves or arrives at home but that day, yesterday was the worst day of my life. After so many triumphs, that day yesterday was all Guinness Book of World Records to me so you can only imagine how I look and how I really feel sad. I've never felt so neglected and unimportant my whole until yesterday came.
Well, I do not know how long this post will be as I try to make the title look so deceivingly different from me and what I wanted to put there. As if someone else's but the truth is if anyone will read this post, I'd rather have its title as "How Lonely a Happy Man Can Be".
Just imagine, me, not even as deep as an inch in my tears knowing that I am a man have been made so lonely that I cannot pour down a single drop of my tear today or even yesterday? Imagine that and if you could, I'd probably give you one of my most precious stuff here in this blog - my name or even a blog review..... but no. I bet if you only knew that, you will never get any of my offers. That is how lonely I am since yesterday. I hope I get over this soon. I'm not used to nursing cough all of a sudden.
Today, I just saw it happen in real life and what's interesting is that I saw it in myself. It's been years since any of us three in the family had been sick. In fact I cannot even remember when it was and I am glad about that and thankful to God. Health has always been our most precious treasure and I am glad we live to it until something happened to me.
This incident made me feel really bad today. It made me feel I was not loved and I do not intend to burst it out here, just some warning to those who don't realize how important it is for a loved one to feel happy and loved and important.
I do not know what it is in me today because just the other day, my parents visited us here in our humble home, the three of us, me my daughter and my wife but since that day, nothing has ever been the same to me. Something changed the chemistry of my mood and my body. The other day, I felt very sad being take for granted, left and no one to talk to. My daughter is in school and my wife hasn't arrived yet.
I wanted to spare the time to fully talk it our with someone but not even my life partner is there. I felt really very sad. Sad that it was enough to cause me to go sick in a matter of hours. That night I drank a little brandy and slept smelling like a drunkard in the street. I didn't drink that much, just a few shots enough to make me sober and then right after I went to bad, I started to feel different.
That was when sickness is on its way and in the morning when I woke up, being able to sleep barely 3 hours only because of another incident caused by neighbors. In short, I got sick I almost feel like I wanted to lie in bed the whole day but no, I have to work. I'm not sure if the person responsible for this loneliness knows about it nor cares how I feel today. Beyond my sad face and sickly look nursing a cold that yesterday was miles away but today is here it seem to stay.
I know I could get over this but I am not sure when. I am talking about the sickness in my heart and not in my body. Tonight I am trying hard to fight it and how I wish it would all just go away. It's been too much yesterday and today, I'm not sure. I just feel sad, down and fallen. I kept myself on focus and did what I have to do to work and earn my back my pride that this loneliness seem to have killed and taken away in mudslide.
I'm not sure but all I know is that I will get over this but how is just another question. The very first few seconds that a person so happy all the time in me, people will never see a touch of smile, all angst in a questioning gesture of my face, why. I am always a happy man who loves to kiss in the cheek and loves to kiss and get kissed when someone I love leaves or arrives at home but that day, yesterday was the worst day of my life. After so many triumphs, that day yesterday was all Guinness Book of World Records to me so you can only imagine how I look and how I really feel sad. I've never felt so neglected and unimportant my whole until yesterday came.
Well, I do not know how long this post will be as I try to make the title look so deceivingly different from me and what I wanted to put there. As if someone else's but the truth is if anyone will read this post, I'd rather have its title as "How Lonely a Happy Man Can Be".
Just imagine, me, not even as deep as an inch in my tears knowing that I am a man have been made so lonely that I cannot pour down a single drop of my tear today or even yesterday? Imagine that and if you could, I'd probably give you one of my most precious stuff here in this blog - my name or even a blog review..... but no. I bet if you only knew that, you will never get any of my offers. That is how lonely I am since yesterday. I hope I get over this soon. I'm not used to nursing cough all of a sudden.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
The Famous Greek Island Crete Nudist Beaches
What comes to your mind upon hearing that there are a lot of beaches in the world that contain literally thousands of nudists. These beaches are actually called as nudist beaches and Greece is one where you can find plenty of nudist beaches out there. Anyway, I am not a nudist myself but I like the feeling and liberty of being nude when I am by myself or with my wife.
This instance always make me feel sexy and this could also be one of the best reasons why I called this blog sexy at 38. Yes, I may be 38 but I must admit I have the body and mind of a 26 year old man. In fact, to add up some spice to my being sexy at 38, I have often been mistaken to be only 23 and mostly 26 by people whom I meed somewhere along the way. My colleagues at work always tell that to me for some reason they say they could only see through in my face.
Let us go back to the famous Greek nudist beaches. I would like to mention here some of the best beaches that I know to be really really exotic not just because they have nude people in there but because people like to feeling of having only flowers in their hair and nothing else.
Perhaps one of the most famous Greek island nudist beaches can be found in the Southcoast of Crete and one of them is Metala, Sougia, and Prevali. These beaches are really gorgeous and good looking aside from the many gorgeous girls who roam in the beach shores, the places is really like paradise.
There is nothing you cannot appreciate in terms of the likeness and closeness to nature. I dream of these Greek island Crete nudist beaches and would love to come over some time if I have the money and time to spend in there.
This instance always make me feel sexy and this could also be one of the best reasons why I called this blog sexy at 38. Yes, I may be 38 but I must admit I have the body and mind of a 26 year old man. In fact, to add up some spice to my being sexy at 38, I have often been mistaken to be only 23 and mostly 26 by people whom I meed somewhere along the way. My colleagues at work always tell that to me for some reason they say they could only see through in my face.
Let us go back to the famous Greek nudist beaches. I would like to mention here some of the best beaches that I know to be really really exotic not just because they have nude people in there but because people like to feeling of having only flowers in their hair and nothing else.
Perhaps one of the most famous Greek island nudist beaches can be found in the Southcoast of Crete and one of them is Metala, Sougia, and Prevali. These beaches are really gorgeous and good looking aside from the many gorgeous girls who roam in the beach shores, the places is really like paradise.
There is nothing you cannot appreciate in terms of the likeness and closeness to nature. I dream of these Greek island Crete nudist beaches and would love to come over some time if I have the money and time to spend in there.
Jorge Arce Defeats Rafael Concepcion
The boxer who beat AJ Banal of the Philippines just fought today, Jorge Arce and he is defeated via TKO after a few rounds of getting punched to the liver on and on by the Mexican showman in Arce. Arce proved once again superior with his punches and his ring style while on the other hand, Concepcion still proved to be strong and is really very very hard to knockout in a boxing fight.
Conditioning is what I see to play the biggest factor in this fight because although Jorge Arce also suffered so many punches both to the body and the face, he remained standing still and fighting Concepcion. In the latter rounds, Arce's arsenal proved to be better and more effective as his opponent cannot continue anymore making Arce win this fight and put up another TKO in his ring record.
Conditioning is what I see to play the biggest factor in this fight because although Jorge Arce also suffered so many punches both to the body and the face, he remained standing still and fighting Concepcion. In the latter rounds, Arce's arsenal proved to be better and more effective as his opponent cannot continue anymore making Arce win this fight and put up another TKO in his ring record.
It's a 52-48 Fight Between Pacquiao and Hatton
The Pacquiao vs Hatton fight is finally going to push through after a week of failed negotiations between the two camps. The difference lies between the share of each fighter where according to Manny Pacquiao, he would only fight if the share would be kept at a 60-40.
This means that if he gets 60 % of the total revenue, then the fight goes on but if he doesn't then the fight will not pursue. Anyway, the most important part is that Manny Pacquiao already agreed to a 52-48 share so the fight will finally push through as planned to be held in Las Vegas, most possibly, at the Thomas and Mac Center.
The fight will take place on May 2, 2009 of this year which means that we are up against another great fight early this year after the legendary Oscar Dela Hoya suffered another defeat from the legend destroyer, Manny Pacquiao where Dela Hoya lost in a TKO 9th round and was not able to continue with the fight.
We all know what the fight between Ricky Hatton and Manny Pacquiao will be with Hatton a slugger and a raging bull who does not care at all whoever he fights, he will just go straight forward and fight and punch his way through you while on the other hand, Pacquiao is the kind of a fighter who can be lethal if you don't get your defenses going for you.
I bet that Pacquiao will win this one only to live another day and fight the truly and only undefeated champion of all time - Floyd Mayweather Jr. What do you think? Will Pacquiao remain to be THE LEGEND DESTROYER or will he be another victim by THE HITMAN? Put your comments here and let's see what and who's up!
This means that if he gets 60 % of the total revenue, then the fight goes on but if he doesn't then the fight will not pursue. Anyway, the most important part is that Manny Pacquiao already agreed to a 52-48 share so the fight will finally push through as planned to be held in Las Vegas, most possibly, at the Thomas and Mac Center.
The fight will take place on May 2, 2009 of this year which means that we are up against another great fight early this year after the legendary Oscar Dela Hoya suffered another defeat from the legend destroyer, Manny Pacquiao where Dela Hoya lost in a TKO 9th round and was not able to continue with the fight.
We all know what the fight between Ricky Hatton and Manny Pacquiao will be with Hatton a slugger and a raging bull who does not care at all whoever he fights, he will just go straight forward and fight and punch his way through you while on the other hand, Pacquiao is the kind of a fighter who can be lethal if you don't get your defenses going for you.
I bet that Pacquiao will win this one only to live another day and fight the truly and only undefeated champion of all time - Floyd Mayweather Jr. What do you think? Will Pacquiao remain to be THE LEGEND DESTROYER or will he be another victim by THE HITMAN? Put your comments here and let's see what and who's up!
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